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Art is the Weapon




Still blows my mind every time I watch it. Thanks to Umbrella Academy I have become a shameless MCR fan. The man is brilliant. I can deny it no longer. I seriously have been waking up and watching this while I eat breakfast every day. It's borderline obsessive.

They made a lyric video for the full version.


It's pretty awesome as well. It's a new sound for sure, definitely a bit harder. I didn't think parts of it were them when I first heard it on Daniel P Carter's BBC Radio Show. I made my little brother listen to it and he had the same reaction.

So I have a day off today which is rare. I need to find an apartment but I'm just so goddamn tired.  ugh. I'm going to go rewatch the season premiere of Glee and pause it at the part where Other Asian doesn't have a shirt on and then I'm going to watch Doctor Who and Robin Hood all day. That sounds like a plan.

Greatest Snack EVAR


So I spend a lot of my time at work mooching food off of my fellow coworkers. The Lorikeets Staff in particular are a goldmine. The possess not only a microwave but also a refrigerator/freezer and a Bunsen burner which in WAP World is the equivalent of the Iron Chef's kitchen.

They make two things here that I drool about constantly. They're both way easy to make.


Neither of them have real names so I'm going to make up a name and then tell you how to make them.

Arachibutyrophobia

So, you take a banana or two and slice them straight down the middle as if you're making a banana split, saute it in butter and then roll it in cinnamon and sugar. You can eat it just like this or you may continue to pile on the calories by slathering it in Skippy Peanut Butter (because nobody likes Jiff) and then pouring melted chocolate over the top (I like to use dark chocolate). Wait for the chocolate to solidify a bit. Consume. If you still feel the need to consume empty calories, stick some marshmallows in the microwave and spread them over the top of the chocolate. I also suggest a tall glass of milk with this.


On the complete opposite side of the snack food spectrum, we have

Because I'm a Mexican

All of the lorikeets staff made this all of the time and I'd never heard of it before. I asked one of the guys why they all knew how to make it and I didn't. The general consensus was because they're Mexican and I'm not. Apparently if your parents hail from the temperate climates of Mexico, you learn as a child that lemon juice and cayenne pepper go on EVERYTHING. Even Pancakes.


Anyways, on to the recipe.

Peel and slice a few cucumbers and oranges (I like to use blood oranges or pink navels just because they're so darn perty). Put them in a bowl. Squeeze lemon or lime or both juice over the top. Sprinkle with cayenne pepper to taste. Shake. Enjoy. You can add other fruits to the mix if you wish. I throw in cantaloupe and kumquats on occasion. I found that crisp or citrus foods work better than say blueberries.
I also like using a variety of oranges and cousins. IE, I'll use blood oranges, tangelos, valencies, pink nvaels, tangerines, and grapefruit. I try to keep the mix of citrus about half of whatever else I'm adding in. 

If I remember to, I will take a pictures of these next time I eat them.


The End

...


I'm pretty epic sometimes.

What is wrong with her hair?


So, today has been one of the shittiest days in recent history simply because I got almost no sleep and I needed it very badly. I was drifting off to sleep somewhere around 1AM. I heard my beagle making choking noises and rolled over to investigate, just in time to see him walk up to me and then BARF ALL OVER ME!!!!!! Why was he barfing? Because he just ate an entire bag or Robins Eggs, Jelly Beasn and Chips Ahoy THAT I HADNT EVEN OPENED YET!!! I was lareayd pissed about that, but being a kind and sympathetic person, I figured I wouldn't beat him while he was sick. So, instead, I take him downstairs and sit outside in the freezing cold with him while he finishes regurgitating his innards. At this point, I'm much to sleepy to clean up and wash the bed before I go back to sleep so instead I pull out the couch bed and sleep on that. It's not terribly comfortable and so it takes me awhile to go back to sleep. Around four in the morning my dad has a SUDDEN AND URGENT need for ice. The sound of him taking what sounded like every ice cube we've ever owned out of the freezer woke me once more. A couple ours after this, I drift back to my peaceful slumber. At approximately 6:23AM Pacific time, I am woken up by gun shots and cries of bloody murder as the middle child had a dire need to play Call of Duty on the TV that I was sleeping next to. Apparently, he forgot how to turn the volume off. I attempted to roll over and go back to sleep but the youngest child (who is 12 and should know better) finds it great fun to jump about and dance joyously on the bed I am sleeping on. He also feels the need to scream directions at the middle child. He's the worst backseat gamer ever. It's annoying enough when I'm fully rested and awake. By now, the cacophony caused by the boys has woken my lorikeet and she feels the need to scream shrilly because, OH GOD! It's SEVEN in the morning and people are UP and she hasn't been fed. I roll over and find some headphones and plug in the iPod, hoping that I can fall asleep to some nice, soft, somber Dir en grey. But nooooo, my mother needs to know if I'm going to be home today so I can watch the dogs. I work every Thursday, ever! Today is no different, woman! Why do the dogs need to be watched? They stay home alone every day. After this, I had to get up and go to work.

I came home craving entertainment in the most mindless form available. Twilight fans, you did not disappoint.

Thankyou for that.

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Watch some practically burst into tears as she watches the Twilight trailer. Then imagine Hall H at comicon full of her and her friends watching the trailer for the first time.

Learn why any werewolf movie that isn't Twilight is a TOTAL RIPOFF!!!

Bad Twilight Tattoos

When Crazy Fans Attack!!!!

Blatant Mary Sue!

I dedicate this to my beloved KillCloseDrown. Raquel, your office is the only one for me.

Northern White Rhinos


So, as I mentioned before, I was thinking on doing some little blurbs on the animals I work with and what makes them cool. I thought I'd start with the Northern White Rhinoceros. Forgive me if this is a bit sloppy, I'm writing it all off the top of my head as it comes to mind. This is information I know, I'm not sitting here and researching as I write this so don't expect it to be incredibly detailed.

So in the picture above, you see a Northern White Rhino and a Southern White Rhino. And some cape buffalo, wildebeest, springbok and possibly an eland or two. What we're focusing on are the rhinos, though. At a first glance, what is the difference between these two subspecies? Physically, nothing. Genetically? There is a greater difference between them than between humans and bonobos (our closest living relative). Southern White Rhinos are the only rhino not on the Endangered species list. There are at least sixteen thousand of them living their life in the wild. With only seven left in the world, Northern White Rhinos are the most endangered mammal. Not seven thousand, not seven hundred, not even seventeen. Seven, Total. Two of them reside at the Wild Animal Park in San Diego. The WAP is world famous for our success with the Southern White Rhino. Our breeding program for them is what put us on the map. The WAP was the first place to captively breed the Southern. Unfortunately, the Northerns have never reproduced while at the WAP and they are now past breeding age. The other five were living in a zoo in the Czech Republic. They have not reproduced in over a decade.. In an extremely controversial decision, four of them have been released on a preserve in Kenya.

These rhinos were originally removed from the wild because they'd been hunted practically to extinction. These Rhinos are originally from the Congo and surrounding areas. Any country that can't take care of it's people isn't going to be bothered with taking care of the animals. Basically, the rule of thumb is, if it's from the Congo, it's endangered. I may do a blog on just the Congo at some point. It's a very interesting and extremely depressing subject.  Rhinos of all kinds are hunted for the large horns attached to their face. These horns, when ground up, are believed to cure all sorts of diseases, everything from the common cold to AIDS, and have all sorts of other uses including being an aphrodisiac. All of these uses have been scientifically disproved. Eating the horn can reduce a fever by up to two degrees, but we have Tylenol for and at over $700 an ounce for rhino horn, the Tylenol is much more cost effective. Rhino horn is composed of a lot of tightly compacted hairs that are made of keratin. Keratin is the same material our hair and fingernails are made of.

The Czech are hoping that the rhinos they have released in Kenya will reproduce in the wild. Personally, I think they'll get shot and their horns will be sold on the Black Market but on the other hand, if they'd done nothing, it's basically a waiting game until all of the Northerns die of old age and the species becomes extinct anyways. Hopefully this risky move pays off.

So, now that we've got the depression out of the way, onto information about the animal itself. Rhinos have a really bad rap with the public. In most movies they are depicted as angry, aggressive animals that charge at a moments notice with no provocation. In reality, that's a hippo. If a rhino does charge, it is because it feels threatened and it most often does a mock charge where it has no intention of hitting anything and simply wants to scare you away. Rhinos are the second largest land mammal right under elephants, weighing in anywhere from 3,000 to 9,000lbs. There head alone often weighs a ton, literally. That's 2000lbs. When you're that big and you've got an enormous dagger attached to your face, nobody is going to mess with you. This means rhinos spend the majority of their day grazing and impersonating large gray boulders. Unlike horses, rhinos leave the roots intact so they aren't destructive eaters. They basically act as giant lawnmowers, just trimming off the tops of the grass.
White Rhinos are social species, the girl travel around with their best friends and won't even enter estrous unless they have their friends around. This means they cannot reproduce unless they are in a group. It's believed that this is because the girls will raise their calves together and a single rhino mom would have difficulty defending her calf from a pride of lions. Rhinos are believed to have incredibly poor eyesight, perhaps not seeing more than twenty-five feet clearly. The girls get very nervous when they cannot see each other and will curl their tails up and run about the exhibit looking for their friends. In the state of California, they would be considered legally blind. Because of this, they stay very near each other. In exchange, they have excellent hearing and a fantastic sense of smell. Rhinos are actually a relative of the horse and can run around 30mph (scary when coupled with their eyesight. Explains why a group of rhinos is called a crash). The really cool thing is that they're practically silent while doing this. A 100lb cheetah sounds like a herd of horses when it runs. The difference? The rhino's foot is a lot like a marshmallow and when it steps, it's foot flattens out. They basically have built in gel matrix pads and they hardly leave behind footprints even in loose sand.

A funny quirk of theirs is that they use a dung midden. A Dung midden is basically like a rhino litter box. All of the rhinos in a given area will take a potty break in the same basic area. They will sniff this area to see who else has been through, much like you dog does when you take them on a walk. The male rhinos can use this dung midden to learn which females have entered estrous and are ready to breed. They can also take a sample of the female's urine in their mouth and use their Jacobson's Organ to perform a hormone test. Pretty cool in theory, really gross in practice. I certainly wouldn't want to drink my friend's urine to figure out if she was pregnant.

Females typically have one calf. The calves will stay with mom for quite some time and the other females in the group will also care for it. One of the rhinos at the park died while her calf was still nursing. The mom's bff, who had never before had a calf, began producing milk and cared for the calf in the mother's stead and stayed with him until several years later when he was shipped off to another zoo.

It's really neat to see these sorts of interactions between animals. You begin to realize just how intelligent and emotional they really are. Nola, the WAP's female Northern, is a particularly sweet rhino. She has "spa days" where the keepers come out and trim her nails and rub her belly. To my knowledge, she has never harmed any of her keepers. You can see a million photos of rhinos but it's a completely different experience to see one in real life. You can say an animal weighs four tons and you can intelligently understand what that statement means but you can't truly visualize it. You don't understand their sheer mass until you see a keeper standing next to one and you realize that the rhino, lying flat on it's side as she naps in the warm midday sun, is still taller than the keeper standing on his tippy toes. Rhinos just have this incredible air about them. They have a very Jurassic feel to them, and their warm, brown eyes speak of intelligence and wisdom that only an animal that has survived all these years could possess. It's almost impossible to describe the way a rhino feels. It's even strange thinking of how such a rough, craggy looking animal can be so smooth and soft. Each individual is so full of life and personality that it's a tragedy when even one passes away. It's no different from losing a friend or a family member. They also visibly mourn when they lose a member of their group. We currently have a female sectioned off because she's going through depression after losing her friend. You can write a million words on what a rhino eats, where and how it lives, and all sorts of useless facts about them but nothing compares to getting to know them on an individual basis. There is no way to describe the sense of awe that fills me every time that I see one in real life. It's heartbreaking to go out in the field and see these majestic looking animals and know that there is almost no chance that my children will ever see one.

So that's about all I have to say at the moment. I know more info but i figured I'd gone on long enough. If you have a question about them go ahead and ask and I'll do my best to answer.

Rain Day Projects


So, I live in San Diego. It's a desert. You know what deserts don't get? Rain. You know what you don't buy if there is no water falling from the sky? Rain boots, waterproof jackets, jackets with hoods, umbrellas, new windshield wipers, ect. You know what it's been doing off and on for the last few weeks? Raining.

I was in Wal Mart buying $3 Miley Cyrus shirts and I noticed umbrellas. Seeing as to how I own exactly one umbrella (Which I bought in Paris because it rains there and I was going to London, where it has also been known to rain) and that one umbrella cost me $1 and therefore will break any minute now, I decided to upgrade to a $3 Walmart umbrella. Unfortunately, the $3 umbrellas are kind of lame. My french one is pretty cool because it's covered in newsprint that's at least 3 different languages and poorly written in all of them.

I decided that I would decorate my own umbrella, but alas, there was nothing in a solid color. They had smiley faces, rainbows, green and pink polka dots or grass. Inspiration struck and I grabbed the smiley faces and ran over to Michaels for the cheapest possible red puffy paint.

Next, I sat myself down on the couch and popped Netflix into my bodacious PS3. The PS3 and I had a mild debate over whether to watch Teenage Catgirls in Heat or Robin Hood. Jonas Armstrong (the Adonis playing Robin Hood) and his British accent won out in the end. Over the course of the next fourty-four minutes, I ogled my daily quota of British Boys and dripped red paint across the Walmart umbrella. If you haven't guessed what my umbrella looks like yet, you clearly don't know me or my taste in literature.

I am now the proud owner of one Watchmen umbrella. I took a couple of pictures of it with a camera phone. Sorry for the low quality. By the time I'd finished the umbrella, the rain had left. I'm sad puppies. I went and put it away and exchanged my wet outdoors attire from shorts and a tank top with flip flops. SD weather gets a bit boring after a while.

The Umbrella

a close-up of one of the smileys

the real smiley for those of you who still don't know what I'm talking about

Batman and the Joker at a PRIDE Roller Derby?

My brain has gone into hibernation mode



Giraffe. They're amazing. I never liked them that much until I started working with them. It is absolutely insane how exactly they are designed to eat from one particular tree and how many defenses that tree has to prevent them from eating to much from any particular grove. I want to take one home and keep it in my backyard. As a newborn it would be my height, so I think it'd be manageable. Just stick it in the back of a horse trailer and drive it home. I could go on and on about how cool they are, but I'm sure I'd bore everyone to death. I'm thinking about it, though. I think I might periodically do little blurbs on different animals accompanied by some photos I've taken of them. I might start with giraffe just because they're so awesome.  Not to mention, they have the biggest brown eyes in the world and they smell like horses. Then I could go onto animals you've never even heard of, like Indian Gaur and Sitatunga.


Anyways, at the moment, I am preparing for book club and then I'll be going to Disneyland at frickin 5am. Not my idea. The only thing I'll get out of bed for before 6 is concerts and plane flights. I do not enjoy Disneyland but I do enjoy my friends so sacrifices must be made. That is it for today.

Eileen


So, as some of you know, I recently became the owner of a lorikeet. What is a lorikeet? Imagine a bird made out of rainbows with the personality of a two-year old with wings. You know, the age where everything is "mine!" and anything they can reach is on the floor or in their mouth. The problem with birds is they have wings and so pretty much everything is within reach. Doors don't do much either because they're pretty darn smart.

^This isn't her but it's a photo I took of one of her cousins so she basically looks the same.
As I've been typing this, I've had her out for about five minutes. So far she has dropped my brother's inhaler on the floor, pulled a trashbag off the counter and spilled it all over the floor, chewed a hole in my shirt, tore apart my nametag from work, knocked all the cups on the counter off, and rolled my soda can into another room. She also ate a couple of grapes but she's supposed to do that. She is currently bathing herself in the kitchen sink and getting everything in a five foot radius soaking wet.

She is absolutely fascinate with silverware. She has pulled all of the knifes out of their block on the counter and dropped them as well as the spoons and forks that were waiting to be washed. She manages to look absolutely adorable while doing all of this as well.

I was going to make this a cute little entry about lorikeets and some basic information about them like how they eat nectar and fruit (all liquid diet means she projectile poops every five minutes) and how they're from Australia and their bright colors help them blend in, but the more I type, the more damage she causes so I think I'm going to cut this short and try to lure her back into her cage.

Her name is Eileen by the way, she got the nickname because she has a back injury that causes her to lean (I Lean, haha, get it?) I just looked it up on Baby Names and it turns out the name means Beautiful Bird. Pretty Crazy. Anyways, I'm going to go now because she just knocked a vase over onto my non-waterloving beagle and he looks none too pleased.

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So if you're a fan of DC and you've never read Tiny Titans before, you shouldn't even read this. You should march yourself to the nearest comic book store find the Kid/DC/Freakishly Adorable/Why Aren't you Reading This? section or wherever it is that store keeps it and pick up an issue. Any issue. Get yourself a whole freakin trade. It's worth it.

Tiny Titans is cute in its own right but if you're a fan of the DCU it just reaches epic amounts of amazing. Trigon is the Principal and Slade is a teacher at a preschool where all of the Teen Titans of different generations are students. Robin, Batgirl (Barbra Gordon), Terra, Beastboy, Wondergirl (Cassie), and Starfire are just a few of the students that make regular appearances. If you've got a younger kid or a cousin you're trying to get into comics, I'd look no further than this comic. DC has several great kid titles but this is my personal favourite and the Eisner Award it possesses seems to agree. Each issue is made up of short skits that all end in some sort of joke that comical no matter your age. Each page is chock full of 100000% of your daily need of "AAAAAAAAAAWWW" and "Gosh, Darn! Look those cute widdle titans go!" It's a nice break from the world of contant strife and turmoil we usually see these characters in. This particular issue happens to feature Superboy, Match (His Bizzarro-like clone), and The Lantern Corps!

No Black Lanterns here but the rest make an appearance. In my favourite skit, Speedy trades  all sorts of DCU memorabilia including a ton of lantern rings to a pawn shop for (you ready for this) bubblegum. Starfire and Stargirl pass him on the sidewalk and decide that bubblegum sounds like a good idea. However, they return to the preschool with lantern rings. The girls all grab a ring and fun ensues. The choices are hilarious. For example, Terra as a Red Lantern and Batgirl as Sapphire. Terra is distinctly not thrilled when the rings activate. You know what's adorable? Yellow lanterns using their power to make ice cream and lollipops. As the girls fly around playing with their newfound powers, the boys walk in and want in on the action. However, all that's left are a couple of mood rings. Cassie and Stargirl smooch Superboy on the cheek and his ring turns bright pink. The comic is overflowing with moments with moments of "aaaaw". Tiny Titans is a great way to take a break from a hard stressful day and relax. If you aren't full of warm fuzzies by the time you finish this comic, you don't have a heart. (Insert Black Lantern Joke).

This comic gets an A+ in my book.

Things on the internet that make me giggle


 I often find myself very bored and unwilling to do anything useful. I'm sure that this used to happen to people all the time and that is why God created the internet. As I'm sure you know, the internet has everything. Just ask Timmy Turner. 

Am I the only one that watched that show?

Anyways, when your boredom sets in, feel free to visit any one of these wacky websites. I guaruntee that you will not have to engage your brain in order to get some giggles out of these websites. So, onto the mindless entertainment

Cakewrecks is pretty much what it sounds like. These are proffesional cakes that will give you nightmares. My personal favourite explains how a baby is just a flower that came out of your vagina.

On the subject of food, you can find many great dinner ideas at This is why you're fat.  Most of them seem to involve putting bacon on something that was already going to clog your arteries and then wrapping it in more bacon.

I'm sure the People of Walmart probably get most of their recipes from that website. This website is mostly fat people in clothes they really shouldn't be wearing. You've been warned.

Texts from last night is exactly what it sounds like, People having bad ideas, texting their friends about it, and then their friends share it with the world.

Fmylife will also make you feel better about yourself. This time, it's someone has a bad idea and then they just skip straight to posting it on the internet themselves.

My life is twilight is basically the same thing, except it's girls who are whining about how they can't find a boyfriend because there aren't any sparkly vampires at their middle school.

Best of Craigslist also abounds with stupidity. Craigslist on its own is full of giggles, it only get better when they compile all of the best ones onto one website. Try searching for super mario, dead bird, how to tell your friend his cat is dead, or pink crotchless panda suit. The fact that the last one even gets a result is all the comment this website needs.

Konami Code requires a bit more effort on your part. It's a list of websites where you can type in the konami code and magical things happen.  Mostly it's just fun typing in the code over and over again. Sort of mesmerizing. One site relishes its geekieness and plays the entire scene that brought the world, "All your base are belong to us" and Cornify will fill your daily need for unicorns and rainbows and sparkles. Some have games 

Awkward Family Photos will make you feel so much better about your own relatives/baby pictures.

Awkward Boners is totally the same thing except for not really.

And on the theme of more strange photos, we have This is Photobomb, in which a random person in the background suddenly becomes the object of focus. 

Wedinator continues the theme, but with wedding photos. 

The opposite of that site, would be It was over when... in which random individuals share with you the exact moment they figured out this relationship wasn't working.

And I should probably end this now because I need to go to bed and these websites are very distracting, good night. If you have more to contribute, please share them with me.